“No one can read your mind, because they aren’t you.”
“There’s a lot of conflicts, hurt and frustration happening in the world, and the majority comes from misunderstandings.” There is a main problem occuring when you have a conflict with someone, e.g. If you get sad about something someone said to you, it’s fairly often you reach out to someone else and tell them all about it, meanwhile actually expecting the person who upset you to come to you because of course that person will clearly know they’ve made you upset and they have to come say sorry first because you’ve really hurt. (Be real, deep down, we all are like that! Me too)
Say what you need and why. Say why you got hurt and what you wish for in the future. If there is something that upsets you or offends you don’t sit around expecting the other person to read your mind because no one can, just confront them and speak up! DON’T: Tell just everyone about a problem or conflict you have with a certain person. The major misunderstanding factor and beginning of dramas is when you tell everyone about a situation you’ve experienced and they go to the person that was involved too! DO’S: Have one or two reliable, trustworthy and somehow rational thinking friends that are your go to’s. People that you can discuss, spill out your feelings and frustrations towards and who aren’t involved in that specific situation. They will help you to realize what is needed to be done furthermore to end the conflict.
I later discovered that during my childhood I’ve never really felt respected or accepted as a woman and that’s why the word B*TCH feels very condescending towards me and why I felt people was personally attacking me. Though I know that most of the times they were just messing around/joking. People didn’t understand why it made me angry because I didn’t understand it either! That made a lot of conflicts, because I perceived it one way, and other another. When you deal with your drama, face the conflicts and talks to the person it is happening with, they will get an understand of who you are and how you perceive things, and also, if they are close to you they’ll most likely try not to do it again because now they now how it made you feel. It is a win/win situation because you get to know the person you confront more and they get to know you more, and it creates less drama.
1. SPEAK UP! 2. Look into yourself and start to become aware of how you react to things. Maybe you’ll soon realize; why do I always get angry when this occurs? And talk to someone about it! 3. Surround yourself with people who knows themselves well, and who are in control of how they react outwardly. Being around uplifting and stable people will make you aspire to that too. 4. Do not NOT mention how you are feeling because you are afraid of how the other person reacts. There is NOTHING wrong with how you feel! You can also never be in control of or do anything to as how people will react. You can only stay on your side of the road and tell how you see the problem. 5. Be honest, that will create an environment where others (sometimes not always) will become inspired to be honest and open too! Which make dialogues easier when completely honest. 5. “Tell them SOONER not later!” If you postpone the problem you’ll most likely start overanalyzing and become bitterer about the problem, and eventually even forget it. It will still be in the back of your mind though and all these “small” untold and unsaid words will build up until you explode and that makes explaining even harder, because where to start? 6. “Never speak up, when you feel out of control with anger and have no control of your words.” Reasonable things have never been said during anger. You can’t take back your words. Don’t become the: “hurt people hurt people” person! You can stray away from that. 7. “Stay on your side of the road.” What I mean with that is: Always explain from your point of view and perceptions. You can’t know what the other person actually meant or why they said it, hear them out as you want to be heard too. So when you come to realize these thing, you will soon learn that you are more stable and things/words doesn’t have power over you anymore. You are now in control of your actions and will then become less effected by the mean punches some people send towards you! Conflicts aren't bad, but they can be handled in a good way, it's just really important to know and be aware of how to. “SPEAK UP! It really can be THAT simple.” Xx Amelie
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AuthorAmelie Maria Pedersen / Archives
October 2016
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